Receiving vs. Earning

Thinking a lot about what it means to be a Receiver vs. being an Earner this morning.

I'm on a journey these day to truly seeing myself.   I am trying to slow down and take an honest look at myself.  Who I am?  It's crazy to say the least...  Well, I have seen in the past few weeks that I am a "doer".   If you are reading this and you know me you are probably laughing saying... "Duh?" ha!   Yes, Definitely!  I get shit done!  I come up with an idea and by the end of the day or week it is in process or done.  That is a good thing in a lot of ways.  It brings me fulfillment to see things happen and it keeps things going around our house.  I guess you could say, "It gets the laundry done."   But, when it come to identity stuff I see how I can be a "doer" too.... an earner.   I see I can be a "doer" to "earn" a positive view of myself.  Which is really garbage, I know it, but I clearly see that I do it.

So, then how do I make a shift.   How do I live without my feelings of my worthiness being connected to me earning it... being good enough... perfect enough... doing enough?  How do I look at myself from a different vantage point?  As I have been thinking of this I saw something clearly.  Earning comes from doing and doing is very connected to ME....to something "I" do.

A different place to live would be out of a place of receiving.  Receiving is a gift.  It has nothing to do ME... nothing to do with what I do or did or say or create or act out.   Receiving also feels like Waiting.  Sitting.  Listening.  Hearing.  I can say it is not always easy to be a receiver.

I believe receiving without earning is Love.  

It feels like perfect love to me.  

Gifted love.  

Well, I don't have the final answer.  I'm not totally sure how to be more of a receiver and less of a doer in the heart way living... the viewpoint of myself.  But, I see glimpses of the journey... the Sitting, the Listening, the Hearing.  In essence the Receiving.

So....The prayer of my heart this morning is to walk through more days Receiving... Receiving the simple beauty of this life.  But, not just that.   I want to receive in the middle of less doing.  I want to receive the affirmation of who I am from a different place within.  A Gift of Love from the Divine.

Giving and Receiving

by Pujakins

The loving heart

gives without thought,

without stint of itself;

gives and is given in return.

And I am given that I may give,

and give that giving may be and continue.

All life is a giving and a receiving,

that the giving may have a purpose

and the receiving a place to be.

Unfolding the gifts means 

unwrapping the giving

to discover the receiver

and by accepting

the receiver in turn gives 

as the circle becomes complete.

With a full heart my giving is.

With an open heart, my receiving is.

The love that gives and receives

has endless supply and never lacks;

the love that gives without stint

receives the same and more,

and finds in the giving

and in the receiving

endless joy.