Being in relationship with ourselves....

Sometimes you just need a good cry.  

A good cry to let it out... 

the pent up emotions, the stress, the exhaustion.  

For me it is like taking a deep breath and exhaling it all.  

I am finding more and more as I get to know myself that I just can't run on full speed all the time.  It seems I used to have all this energy and do all this stuff... I was constantly busy.  I smile as I say that because I don't look at it as a bad thing... being busy, getting things done... I'm just seeing that as I get to know myself my desire is to move at a different speed.  

I would have never thought of myself as a slow mover but I am seeing more and more that is where I thrive, where I am most comfortable in my life.  I get a chance to look at my life not blow through it like a tornado. I get to be a part of it.  I get to be intentional with my days.  I get to make my decisions consciously as I think about how they effect what happens in my life and how they feel to my spirit.  I get to live my life and not get carried away by it.  

I have truly been trying to practice more intentionality in my life these days and as I have been trying to find new balances in my living a certain phrase came to  my mind... "Be in relationship with yourself!"  I haven't been able to get that out of my mind.  I have meditated on it, journaled about it, talked about it with friends.  It's crazy, I can't believe at 41 years old I have never thought about that phrase.  

So then, what does it mean to be in relationship with myself?  Well, today it meant coming home from dropping the kids at school and knowing that if I didn't sit down in my chair, cross my legs and be quiet for an hour I was going to go crazy!!!   No, but really I could sense that I needed quiet... I needed to settle.  I needed to sit with me.  I needed to hear the thoughts in my heart and head and see what and why they were there.   I actually needed a good cry... not about anything in particular I just needed to let it out.  So... I did.  

That is what 'Being in relationship with myself' is bringing into my life... 

A knowing of who I am and what I need 

The growing desire to love myself 

The taking time to nurture and give it to myself.

I have been talking to Tim about this thought of "Being in relationship with ourselves." We have been talking about all the things we teach our children to help them grow.  How we teach them things to protect themselves, about right and wrong, how to love our friends, how to be a good friend, etc... but as I have been thinking about being in relationship with myself I posed the question to him, "Do we teach our kids how to be in relationship with themselves?"  Honestly, I don't know if we do that as much as we do the other things we do to help them grow.  And as I think about it... shouldn't our relationship with ourselves be the root where we are grounded in our knowing and our truth so we can move forward into the world to love and lead. 

Taking the time to sit with myself has been so amazing.  To actually take a moment to look at what I am feeling... i.e. maybe Stress and then sit with it to see where it may be coming from... Sadness... why have I been sad.  I have been able to take the power away from some of my emotions and at the same time give  proper attention to other things that are causing me stress or sadness and make changes to make life better. It has actually offered me a honest look at myself.  

To sit and be vulnerable and honest

to be present with myself is powerful... 

Not always easy that is for sure but it's real.  

I feel like it makes my life richer...

I don't know how to explain it ... it just does.  

Maybe it's because I feel like I am owning it, my life.  

It is mine and I begin to love it even more.  

I want to pass this down to my kids.  

The ownership of their lives.  

The beauty of the realness of knowing themselves. 

   

Being in Relationship with Ourselves is the real deal.... 

It's as real as it gets.  And it's good!